An Impossibly Impossible Brother
by christmaswolf
Summary: Basically an insult fic. Len's addicted to sex and it annoys Rin to no end. AU? Please don't flame :o


I wrote this out of boredom in sixth hour yesterday and just finished it today. Enjoy. Or not. I don't mind. Just don't flame ;D

a/n: Len and Rin magically don't have parents.

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><p>"Ugh!" Rin groaned into her pillows so loudly, it made her throat hurt. She simply could not get <em>any<em> sleep with all that racket next door. Her twin brother, Len, had brought another one of his 'friends' home and they were having a hayday in his room. This time it was a (obviously older) blue-haired boy who seemed to love to wear his scarf, even in the summer.

_I wonder if he wears it during sex..._ she thought. Last time he was at their house he'd helped himself to their _entire_ supply of ice cream, so this time she made sure to hide them.

_If he finds them, I'll kick his ass._

Len was addicted to sex. Bottom line. They were fourteen, and he was addicted to sex. Glorious.

Unable to bear the discustingly disturbing noises coming through the paper-thin wall separating their rooms any longer, she got up off her bed and exited her room. Shit was about to go down.

"Len! Shut the FUCK UP!" She screamed, rapping on her door so hard, it was a wonder how it didn't break.

The ice cream asshole gasped, obviously unaware she was even home.

"No! Go watch TV!" Was his bratty response. Rin's face reddened with anger.

"Len, I will come into this room and slap you across the face like the little dick-eating, crossdressing bitch you are!" She thrust her pointer finger down towards the floor for emphasis, even though he couldn't see her.

"Shut the hell up, Rin! I've got better things to do than listen to you bitch at me! If you wanna go bitch at someone, go get knocked up and bitch at your own kid, you whore!" She could practically see him stick his tongue out at her.

"Whore? Me? Oh! Really! You're even fucking denser than I thought! I'm not the one laying on my spermatozoon-covered bed while someone I hardly know screws my loose-as-hell asshole until the cows come home!"

"Well, _duh!_ It's because you have a loose-as-hell _vagina!_"

Rin stared at the door with an astounded expression.

"You're a fucking retard!" She shook her head and stomped downstairs, picking up an orange and leaving the house, slamming the door behind her.

.O.

The next day, Len came home man-less.

Rin made no move to hide her shout of victory as she ate dinner. He scowled at her as he grabbed himself a banana.

"No takers at the pedo bar? Shotas-R-Us is closing down? Kids under ten are the new thing?" He continued to scowl at her as she entertained herself with her clever insults.

"Shut up, Rin." He opened the fridge to search for more food.

"It's not good for you, though." Her tone and expression suddenly became serious as she closed the refrigerator door on him and looked him square in the eye. "You can give yourself a UTI. And guess who has no hospital money?" She pointed at herself. "This girl!"

"I'm not going to get a UTI." He scoffed.

"Oh yes, because you're Super Shota, able to seduce men in a single bound and are immune to every STD and infection. Go you." She shoved her half-eated orange in his face and walked away. She'd made it about four steps before the orange collided with the back of her head. She just laughed and continued up to her room.

.O.

"Holy sheet!" Squealed Rin, narrowly escaping a zombie. She then proceeded to kill it. Her fingers rammed the buttons of her Xbox 365 controller as she kicked ass at her current obsession - Left 4 Dead 2.

A soft knock sounded at her door. She rolled her eyes, knowing who it was, and ignored him.

Moments passed before the soft knocking turned into rabid beating. Cursing loudly, Rin paused her game, got off her bed, then threw open her door with a vicious "WHAT?".

A surprised Len stared at her with his fist raised to knock, then lowered his fist and his head, blushing and twiddling his thumbs. Moments passed and neither spoke.

Rin started to close her door angrily.

"Wait!" Len exclaimed, stopping the door.

"What?" Rin huffed and leaned against the frame of the door.

"Well...uh..." He twiddled his thumbs again. "I was wondering..." He grabbed the back of his neck with his hand and went silent again.

"Wondering what? Spit it out!" She frowned at the time she was wasting.

"Uh...well...I was wondering if you could...help me..." He put his hands behind his back.

"With what?" She sighed. What could _she_ help with? She was a girl, not to mention his _sister._

His hands came back into view, and in one of them resided a strap-on.

"NO." Rin stiffened.

"But-"

"_HELL_ NO." Slamming the door and locking it, she buried herself in blankets and continued her game, trying to pretend her life was normal.


End file.
